self care

Loving the skin you’re in

November 25, 2014 by cam

Ever sit in front of the mirror and just look at you? Don’t freak out! It’s a great way to know when something changes. If you make a habit of just looking at you, you’ll begin to appreciate how amazing your body is and you’ll also notice if something changes because you’re checking it out on a regular basis. Another mama shared this with me and it made total sense. It’s a great step on the journey of loving the skin you’re in. I can think of a few more things that make me feel better about myself. Roll with me, ok?

Exercise is a good one for me. That extra step in the morning makes me feel better about me. Working out makes me feel different about my body almost immediately. Which is great because the changes certainly don’t happen immediately. Le sigh…

I noticed a while back that I was holding on to way too many clothes. As I started to go through them I realized some of them didn’t even deserve to be taking up space in my closet. They were too small, too big or just wasn’t something that made me feel how I want my clothes to make me feel. I like to get dressed without feeling like the frumpy mama. I don’t wanna get into the habit of being OK with my frump. So the best way to do that was to let some things go. Yep, that’s another “feel better about me” move. Go through your closet and get rid of clothes that don’t make you feel good about you. Anything that makes you feel frumpy, lumpy and “ugh” have got to go. Only rock with stuff that makes you feel good. That could be as simple as jeans and a white tee (my go to simple look). Feel free to do this process with other things in your life. That could include people too. I’m just saying…

Remember that you’re here for a reason. You are all kinds of unique, special and beautiful. Repeat that until you believe it if you have to.

Treat your body well and it will return the favor. Make a commitment to eat and drink things that serve you well. Been slacking on skin care? Get back on the wagon with that. Those changes will be written all over you. It will show in how you look and how you feel.

Focus on the things you really like about yourself. What you focus on grows. If you only focus on what you think are your faults… that’s all you’ll see. You’re way more than your flaws! Give your awesomeness some love.

Stop listening to other people, including magazines and TV shows, that say what the ideal body is. Tell your inner and outer critic to “Shut Up”! I don’t believe in an “perfect size”, do you?

How do you show yourself some love? Share in the comments!

Selfish Mama: Am I Talking to You?

August 12, 2014 by cam

Not too long ago, I was having a conversation with a friend. She was telling me about something that she’d read. It was a post about motherhood. The author was talking about the need to be a selfish mother. At first, I balked. My thoughts went straight here:

You can’t be selfish once you have children.
Your life isn’t only about you.
The kids ALWAYS come first.
If you’re being a selfish mama, what are your kids missing out on while you’re all about you?

I”m the mom that felt bad every time I dropped my babies off at day care. I lingered around forever because I didn’t want to be away from my babies. Now that my babies are at home full time, I’m the mom who felt guilty when I run to the coffee shop to work for a few hours. Yeah, I’m that mama. Me a selfish mama. I couldn’t see it.

As she continued telling me about this post, I started to change my thoughts. It began to make sense to me. It really didn’t seem so bad to be selfish at all. The thing that popped into my head was the words I hear when boarding an airplane. They always tell you when traveling with children, in the event of an emergency to put the oxygen mask over your own face first. Growing up, I thought that was messed up. You’re telling people to protect themselves and kick the kids to the curb? Of course, not. That’s what it sounded like to me as a little kid though.

Making sure you have oxygen first, makes you better equipped to help your child. If you’re struggling to breathe, you can’t think clearly. If you’re not thinking clearly, you won’t make it. If you don’t make it, how can you help your kids? I think the same is true overall in motherhood. I have been guilty of being last on my own list. I have gotten better about it though. For example, I know that I need to get myself ready first in the morning. If I don’t, things tend to go a bit off track. It’s just easier for me to get my children together, if I’m already pulled together. In a sense, it sets the tone. My babies see that I’m dressed and they know what’s expected. They know what’s coming next. It’s their turn and they begin to do things to get ready.

Could that be true in other cases? Of course! If we set out to take care of ourselves first in other areas, will it teach our kids to make themselves a priority? There are definitely extremes to this. There are people who don’t spend time with their kids because of this idea of putting yourself first. There has to be a balance though, right? There are times to be selfish and there are time to make yourself “next in line”. It’s a dance. At times, I tend to hang out in the “next in line” phase a bit longer than I should. I am learning to put myself on my own list more often. Even when it feels selfish.

As moms, it’s no secret we juggle a lot. We feed, clean and clothe small people. We entertain, teach and engage them. We take them to countless activities and pretty soon your calendar only reflects your child’s social activities. Am I the only one here? It can get to the point that you can’t remember the last time you had a meal with your husband that didn’t involve cutting up someones else’s food. All of these things are part of being parents, absolutely. The thing is, being a parent isn’t the whole of who we are. Sometimes selfishly taking care of the rest of you is a must! (tweet this)

That could mean making time for a hair appointment, a pedicure or a shopping trip to Target – ALONE. Make time to have a meal (you didn’t prepare) and gaze at that hottie you married. You almost forgot about that part of him because you’re used to seeing him as a father now. Make time for sharing a meal and maybe a *gasp* glass of wine with your girlfriends. It feels good to laugh your face off about grown woman stuff every now and then. It may feel selfish but I promise it will make you a better mama.

What about you? What do you think of this idea of a being a selfish mama?

It took extreme pain but, lesson learned

May 20, 2014 by cam

A week ago, I had two wisdom teeth removed. I had it done on a Friday and figured I’d rest over the weekend and be better by the time my husband went back to work on Monday. Well, it didn’t go as planned. The dentist had to crack my bone to get one of my teeth out and that made my healing torture! I’m still healing.

This experience has taught me that I need to know when to give myself a break. With my jaw throbbing, my teeth feeling like they were shaking in my head, I was still trying to work. At night, I would sit at this laptop frustrated with myself that I couldn’t focus. I wanted so badly to stay on top of the schedule I’d set for myself. Really, I was crazy! It took a friend to remind me to take it easy on myself. I needed to rest. Working was only making me feel worse. I couldn’t be so focused on creating my future and ignoring my present pain.

Sometimes we have to know when to say when. I wasn’t doing that. My body forced me to check myself. I think it’s common among women, especially moms. We push forward hard while downplaying what may be going on with us. I was busy making my kids a priority. I was doing drop-off, pick-up, packing lunches, play dates and mommy and me classes while being in extreme pain. My kids got what they always get from me. I did have a day or two in there where they watched more TV than they should have. I was wiped out and couldn’t do more in that moment. I think that’s the day it started sinking in for me that my balance was thrown off. I forgot about putting the oxygen mask on myself first. I made sure the kids were good but I was struggling. I had nothing left to give when it was time for me to work.

I decided to stop trying. I had to give myself some grace and just shut this computer off. Instead of trying to write posts and finish books and structure marketing plans – I took my sick behind to bed! It’s so simple but it took extreme pain for me to see it. Taking the pressure off of myself to be superwoman was freeing. I so believe in taking a step closer to your dream everyday. I keep that firmly in the front of my mind. So much so, that I have a hard time taking a day off of dream building.

Here’s the deal, my dreams don’t work without me. I’ve learned to do as much dream building as self loving. One without the other doesn’t work.

I’ll be getting back to me soon enough. I’ll just keep this in my back pocket as a lesson learned.

How do you balance taking care of yourself with taking care of everyone else?

Mom-Me Time? What’s That?

July 30, 2013 by cam

Once a month I had an appointment with Tanya. She’s a guru when it comes to waxing. Every two weeks I had an appointment with another Tonya. She was my hair stylist. Every morning I got up just before 6a to get to the gym before work. After working out for an hour, I’d make my way back home to get ready for the work day. Those days were a long time ago! This is just a glimpse of my life before my name changed to mama.

I used to do so many things just for me, without a second thought. These days it’s hard to wedge in time to pluck my eyebrows let alone schedule a wax. I have been finding ways to steal some me time though. Every time I find a sliver of time to do something just for me, it’s a mini-celebration. It’s not that I don’t absolutely love my life as a mom. It’s just that I realized that it’s the little things, like a spontaneous pedicure or a shopping trip to Target all by my lonesome, are pretty special. It’s the small ways I take time out for me that make me a better mom and a better wife. It’s true what they say “happy wife, happy life”. I’d also like to add, “happy mama, way less drama“. {tweet this}

All these little things we do for ourselves can be described as self care. That can be anything from finding time to read a novel or a magazine. It could be as simple as enjoying an ice cream cone as you walk alone through your neighborhood. For me, I find that I need the space sometimes to just worry about taking care of nobody but me. I gladly give my family most of me, but I save a little for myself.

Share in the comments: Do you have any things that you do just for you? What’s self care look like for you?