dream

Living the Dream?

August 19, 2014 by cam

I was sold. Hook line and sinker. I wanted it all. I wanted the house, the car, the husband, the kids, the career and all of the “things” that say I’m rocking this life thing. I got it all sewn up! There’s this idea that if you drive a certain car, wear particular clothes and live in certain neighborhood that you are on top of the world. That’s the story. The American Dream.

You go to college. You decide at 18years old what you’d like to do for the rest of your life and you set off on the path of “living the dream”. I was so there. I had my plan carved out and I made it! I was living my American dream. After college, I started working in media right a way. I worked my way from editorial assistant for a newspaper to a writer and producer for network television. I got married, we got a dog, a house and two children. It felt good to be able to check life goals off the imaginary life list. What didn’t feel good was the amount of hours needed to make the dream work. What didn’t feel good was never feeling like we had enough time with our kids. I started to realize the American dream was all about “things”. I thought about what that really meant for me.

There’s this saying that you never see a U-haul behind a Hearst because you can’t take any of this stuff with you. I thought about that. I thought about a minister once saying that we buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like. Ouch! Hmmm… I thought about what will matter most to me at the end of the day, my family or my stuff. I had to re-evaluate what giving my all looked like for me.

While I was still producing television, I began having these ideas of the life I NOW wanted. I kept a notebook to jot them down. Now that I had that jigsaw laid out it was time to figure out how I was going to put that puzzle together. I started jotting down ideas. I talked to my husband to pick his brain. We were on the same page, thankfully. We are more concerned with experiences rather than things. We started talking things out to figure out how we could make our life simpler, easier. Being in the grind here in L.A. is a beast. We are on a mission to tame the beast in a way that works for our family.

Part of that is making the best of our time with our kids creating memories and experiences. It’s led to me craving a simpler life. I never knew how much I loved the outdoors until I stopped to see it though the eyes of my babies. Playing at a water table really can be fun and therapeutic. The kids have fun and I let the water relax me a bit. This attitude has also extended to how I want our home set up. I’ve been on a mission to get rid of things that aren’t needed. I have bagging up things left and right. I have re-designed rooms in my head so that things just feel better. A while ago I read something about clearing space in your home as it relates to making space for other (non-material) things to come into your life. I’m all about that! I can’t say that I won’t drool over the latest “it” bag or that I will completely abandon my closet full of shoes. I like baby steps, y’all. What I will say, is that I’ll be making progress bit by bit to make my life more of MY dream and less of the American dream. With the traditional dream, there is always more to get. With my dream, I focus on what I already have. Feels better already.

And then I said “Why Not?”

April 22, 2014 by cam

It took becoming a mom for me to greet life with a “why not?”.

My son just does stuff. He thinks it and he does it. He is just completely open to life. The kid has never met a stranger (we’re working on that). He walks into a room full of kids and his response is “hey guys!”. He’s always open to new people and new experiences. I love that about him. I love that I have become more like him. Isn’t it funny that I became more like him? I admire his open approach to life. I know that it’s because everything is new to him. He’s only four and so much of life is a mystery to him. He is not afraid of the mystery though. Instead he welcomes it. Isn’t it awesome how kids make you see things differently?

I have to say that since becoming a mother, I have noticed that I’m far more open as well. Whether that means sharing my experiences or speaking up when opportunities are in front of me. I had one of those moments recently. There was a woman I saw on television. Her missions and goals directly lined up with mine. I saw an opportunity to reach out and I did.

In times past, I would have been to shy to reach out – even on line. The mama version of me has an attitude of “why not?” So, I found an email and reached out. It felt so good to hit “send” on that message. It was yet another reminder for me of my growth. Reaching out to her falls right in line with my mission to inspire and motivate moms to find and follow their passions. It felt right. It would be great if a connection is formed because of my willingness to reach out. Even if it leads to nothing at all, it’s a step for me. It doesn’t matter what happens from here. The success for me is in making the move, taking the step.

And that is how I’ll keep working toward making my dreams come true. Whether they be giant steps or baby steps – the thing is, keep moving! And to think all of this new found boldness started because of a little kid – mine.

How have your kids changed you? What have you said “why not” to lately?

Update 4/23/14 12:57pm PST: The woman I sent the email to responded! You’ll be hearing more about her next month! Excited!

Putting the Pieces Together – Guilt Free

April 15, 2014 by cam

There is a lot I want out of this life. A lot. As I work to put the pieces together, I sometimes give myself a hard time about what I’m able to do. Sure, being a mom of two kids and a wife to my honey makes things all kinds of challenging. The kids require and are totally entitled to my full attention. They’re young (4 and nearly 2) and love their mommy time! I find ways to balance my snuggles with them and my time on this laptop. It’s a dance. What I know though is if mama is happy, my babies will be happy. That keeps me going toward all the things that help my happy.

There are several things in the works but when I can’t get them done as fast as I would like, I tend to be really hard on myself. I’m learning to give myself a break. I can feel good about doing what I can do, when I can do it. It’s no secret that I can’t go after my dreams the same way I could when I was single. That doesn’t mean I can’t go after them though. Honestly, the single version of me had completely different dreams anyway. The single version of me was younger with more energy too! LOL!

I just have to go about my dreams and passions in a different way, at a different pace. I’m cool with that. To get things done, I make a small list for the day.When I say small, I’m talking one or two things to accomplish once the kids go to bed. Once I get those things done, I feel like I’ve been successful. If I do more than what’s on that list – cupcakes for everyone! Whoot whoot! I don’t overcrowd my list with so many things that I make my success seem impossible. I like a challenge, but I’m not a fan of self sabotage!. That’s not fair to me. I always have to be fair to me, right?

That’s how I carve out time for my dream building. How about you? Am I the only one guilty of being WAY too hard on myself?

Wanna Feel Good? Start Here…

April 1, 2014 by cam

When it comes to feeling good, we all want piece of that! While I am a firm believer in going after your dreams, I know that isn’t always easy. Sometimes we don’t go after what we want because we don’t feel like we’re worth it or we just don’t feel good. I think it’s important to work on ourselves from the inside out. Before we can take that first full step toward something we really want, sometimes we need to stand still.

Going for your dreams really means that you’ve decided to do something for you. You’ve decided to listen to that small voice and make your unique contribution to the world. Before your journey onto doing that BIG thing for you, try doing a few small things. It will get your mind in the right spot and get you ready to make your move toward the big thing.

Consider this your invitation to FEEL GOOD! Here are a few suggestions to get your feel good mojo moving:

Take a drive… Crank your favorite song and sing along – LOUD!

This one works for me EVERY TIME!

Go for a walk…Notice all the little things. I bet you’ll find some inspiration.

Try something new with your hair… A new outlook sometimes starts with a new look.

Self care anyone… How about getting a mani or pedi? Letting someone take care of you encourages you to keep it up and take better care of you too.

Put on something that makes you feel good… That could be a favorite blouse, dress or jeans. Ahem, it could also be what you put on underneath it all. Whatever makes you feel good, ROCK it! You’ll feel good and the reason why can be your little secret.

What gives you an instant shot of feel good?

Dream Now, Live Later?

March 18, 2014 by cam

On a recent trip to Target (seriously, I spend WAY too much time there), I stopped by the cards section and noticed a card about living the life you deserve. I was all offended. Yeah, the idea of it all was nice but this card was in the retirement section.

It made me think about the way things usually go. People work all of their lives toward that pie in the sky called retirement. That’s supposed to be when you are really able to live and enjoy life. It seems to me that doesn’t work. If we wait until retirement to enjoy life, we’ve already missed so much. For my generation, retirement seems SO far away. We are going to need millions to be able to live comfortably. Some people fully expect to work until they are 70 years old.

Yes, at 70 years old is when you can begin to enjoy and life the life of your dreams. For most people, 70 years old finds them tired and many have health issues. How much energy do you really have at that point to travel, pursue your passions and “enjoy life”? Yes, that card had ALL of this racing through my head. It seemed to suggest a “dream now, live later” life. I am fully on board with a “dream NOW and do it NOW” way of life. (tweet this) I have all of these ideas and desires for my life NOW. I can’t get to every single thing right now but I’m determined to do as much as I can.

By the time I’m 70 I want to be still enjoying my life but I really want to be at a point where I’m not chasing myself and trying to do things that I’ve wanted to do my whole life. I’d rather that time be spent still pursuing and dreaming but also doing a great deal of reminiscing about all of the dreams I’d made a reality. That’s my goal. What’s something that you’ve put off to do later that you could do right now?

If The World Wrote You A Letter

March 4, 2014 by cam

“We’re all desperately waiting for you to just do it. What are you waiting for?

Signed,

The World

Is that the kind of sign we need to get things moving? Does the world really need to cry out for us to set out on the path of turning dreams into reality? The truth is, the world really is waiting for you to just do it – whatever “it” is. Whatever it is you want to offer the world, there is someone out here waiting for it. What you have to offer could change. their. life. Seriously, think about that. If you decide that it’s too much and you can’t get to it or it’s too hard you know what happens? A lot of somebodies miss out on something pretty special. Think about the people who have changed your life with their gift. It could be a pastor, a singer, a teacher or Oprah! If they hadn’t followed their heart and their passion, you would have missed out. Make sense?

Every year, so many of us make resolutions, intentions and commitments to rock out life in some way or another. We start off strong. Then around March we start to slow down. Our burning ambitions become a slightly visible flame. So what happened? Over the years, I have been able to point the finger at a few things. Sometimes it’s as simple as life. It gets hectic, it gets complicated, it changes before we are ready to make the adjustment and we have to roll with it. So, our original demands of ourselves become back burner suggestions at best. It happens. If you stop altogether now, you’ll be that much further behind and probably totally give up eventually. Don’t do it!

Consider this your permission slip to take those goals and dreams off the back burner and make them a priority again. Maybe you can’t take on the whole enchilada but how about one small piece of it? Everything is easier to chew in bite sized pieces, right?

Here’s what that looks like for me. Instead of taking on the task of writing a whole new book right now, I’ve decided to work on a few small things at a time. I’m still keeping the writing mojo going but giving the time to my family that they need too. It’s a win-win. I do what I love and my family still gets what they need.

So tell me, how can you take bite sized pieces toward your dreams, goals right now?

Has Your Dream Expired?

June 18, 2013 by cam

What if I told you that your dreams don’t expire? What if you just found out that you’re not too old to make your dreams come true? Well, guess what? All of the above is TRUE!

For a while, I thought that I’d missed out on doing the things I really wanted to do. For years I’d talked myself out of following my dreams. My reasons were legitimate… to me. I felt like what I wanted couldn’t be done. I was sure that I was I didn’t have the right connections, I was getting to old. I had convinced myself that what I wanted was just plain impossible.

What I found out is that I had been not only lying to myself but I’d also been talking myself out of my dreams. I wasn’t giving anyone else a chance to shoot me down. I was doing a really good job of kicking my dreams to the curb all on my own. Why is that? I’m not alone in this. For some reason, we are our own worst enemy on things like this.

Source

Sure, in my 20’s I was a go getter and all about making it happen. I had accomplished some pretty cool things. I wanted to write for a newspaper – I did that. I wanted to work in television. I did that by getting my start in local television. I wanted to work in entertainment television and work for a network. Done and done. My twenties saw me tackle these things and dive into a new city jobless determined to hustle my way to the top. Somehow, I made it happen. Then, I think I began to get scared. I felt like I had reached my limit. No girl could really ask for more. Right? Wrong!

Once I had children, my thoughts shifted a bit. Originally, I think I believed that having kids would really bring my dreams to a screeching halt! To my surprise, I found the opposite to be true. I began to dream new dreams. I began to dream up things that were bigger than what I thought I wanted for myself. My kids had given me the motivation to really get out there. Publish a book, start a blog, start a business – why not? Becoming a mom made me even more determined to not only dream but follow those dreams. What good is a dream if that’s all it is? (tweet this) I feel like since I have two little people watching my every move, it’s up to my husband and I to show them what’s possible. Instead of just SAYING reach for the sky, how about I show them HOW to tickle the stars? It occurred to me that I can’t tell them to follow their dreams if I don’t follow mine. Well, I can but why not lead by example?

Tell me what would make you decide your dreams were worth following?