As I’ve set out to make my dreams cone true, I’ve come across so many who hold on to doubt that their own dreams are even possible and worth pursuing. Here are my top 9 excuses for why we don’t follow our dreams.
Remember your words have power. If you keep telling yourself what you aren’t then it will become the truth. So what ARE you?
I don’t have time to discover my passion, let alone follow it.
We tend to make time for the things that are important to us. Finding time to learn what you are passionate about or making time to follow your passion are worthwhile. Think of all the people you aren’t impacting because you’re not sharing your gift, passion and dreams with the world.
I’ll do it someday.
Simply put – we aren’t promised someday, today or Thursday. None of them are guaranteed. Stop putting your life off for time you don’t even have. {click to tweet}
I don’t know where to start.
Just start.
People will judge.
People judge no matter what you do or don’t do. Heck, they judge based on what they think you do. So, do you!
There’s no guarantee it will work.
That’s just life though, right ? Nothing is a sure fire promise.
I’m too young/old.
No such thing. I just read about a 15 year old tech millionaire business owner. Too young? Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken fame started his business in his elder years. Too old?
I don’t know what I’m doing.
No one starts anything knowing everything. You just have to go for it and learn along the way.
Rejection sucks. There’s no way of getting around it. It is no fun to want something or someone and get a big thumbs down thrown your way. We’ve all been there. Still, rejection is not something anyone wants to get used to.
The thing is, sometimes we have to get used to being denied. We just have to look for the lesson in it. For me, one lesson came when I moved to Los Angeles with the mission of working for the Style Network. I applied for months before moving to L.A. I continued to apply for every job I thought I was qualified for at the network once I moved here. For various reasons, I was told no. Denied. Rejected. Ouch. I tried to make sure I learned something form each closed door. It’s easier to see in hindsight. That’s when the dots start to connect. I wasn’t as ready as I thought I was to work in network TV. There were still some things I had to learn. Had I been hired for the jobs I had interviewed for, there wouldn’t have been time for me to get up to speed. It would have been a total hit the ground running type of thing. Lucky me that those didn’t pan out, I would have probably fell on my face.
The thing is, I didn’t give up. I chose to see the denials as simply delays. I kept looking for things that I was suited for. As someone in love with all things fashion, beauty and style, I was determined to work for that network. Fast forward, two years later and my fourth interview with the network and I finally got the job! It was a perfect entry point for me to learn as I grew there. Here are a few lessons I learned from that experience:
If you want it, don’t give up I recently read a blog by a woman who was nervous about not getting into medical school – for the second time. It is her dream to be a doctor. She was beginning to feel like if it didn’t work out this time, that maybe she should move on to something else. By the end of the post she had convinced herself that this was what she wanted and there was no other dream. When you feel that strongly about what you want – DON’T GIVE UP!
Not now, doesn’t mean not ever Even when things aren’t happening on the timeline you expect, don’t trick yourself into believing that it will NEVER happen.
If you believe in it, be willing to wait for itIn my situation, two years was a long time to wait to work for a network I had dreamed of working for. It was worth the wait though. My determination paid off. There’s no reason to believe that what you want won’t happen. NONE. Keep working and give it time.
How do you deal with denial? What dreams are you thisclose to giving up on? Tell me in the comments.
I’ve been told that I’m a perfectionist. I do like things to be a certain way. I’ll keep working on something until I have it just right. It might take me a little longer than I’d like to finish things because I’m busy tinkering.
What I know is that I can be a procrastinator. All of that tinkering and “perfecting” only delays progress. I’m working on it and I’ve gotten much better. I’m so much better about saying something and doing something without the lag time. I’ve been thinking a lot about being a perfectionist and what that means. People throw around the word perfectionist all of the time. It’ s usually said as a compliment and worn as a badge of honor. Here’s what I think. On our quest to get things just right, aren’t we all really just procrastinating? Is it the need for perfection that keeps us tinkering or is it the fear of just letting things go and getting our projects out there?
“Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough – that we should try again.” – Julia Cameron
With me, I really do think it’s a little bit of both. I tweak things because I want them to be just right. I don’t want to look at things later and think of all the things I could have done differently. On the other side of the coin, I know that all of my adjustments only delay things. That delay is the exact opposite of what I want. It only brings on guilt when I know I should be done with something but can’t stop “fixing” it. Here’s what we all need to remember:
“Perfection is overrated. Success is not.’ – Lauren Zalaznick {tweet this}
So, I’ve decided for me that perfectionism is actually glorified procrastination. Being a perfectionist can sometimes hide the doubts we have about ourselves or what we’re doing. Are you a perfectionist? What is your perfectionism hiding? Tell me about it in the comments!
I admit it, I’ve done it. I’ve set goals too big to wrap my arms around. Have you? While we work toward what we really want, the big Kahuna, things can seem like they’re moving in serious slow motion. With all that’s on your list of things to do, it can feel like you haven’t done anything when you’re checking them off one by one. Instead of looking at what you have left to do, make sure you make time to take in what you’ve done!
If you’re trying to publish your first book, be proud of the outline you’ve created. That’s progress!
Starting a vegetable garden? Taking the step to get the dirt, and the seeds and the planters is part of the process. It’s the beginning of a delicious garden. Also known as progress!
Got a big goal? Don’t forget about the little things along the way. No need to wait until reaching the big goal to celebrate. The so-called small things count too. Celebrate! Every.Single.One.
Here’s my view on it all. We all have to take baby steps to get o where we want to go. You need each and every small grain of sand to make a majestic sand castle. So no matter how small your steps are, keep walking. It will lead to something great, majestic even.
What goals are you working on? How do you make goals less overwhelming?
“The biggest fallacy on earth is that you can be anything that you want to be. You can only be what you were meant to be.” ~Oprah Winfrey
When I first read that quote, I had a big question mark on my forehead. Then I read it again and it totally made sense. Everything I want isn’t always good for me. That goes for relationships, food AND ambitions.
When it comes to relationships, sometimes people show us who they are from the beginning and we have the choice and the chance to walk away. At other times, we learn who they are the hard way. It’s not always easy to know that some relationships just weren’t meant to be.
Growing up I wanted to be a singer, a supermodel and a writer. Well, I don’t have the nerve to get up in front of people and sing. I’m too shy that way. I did, however, have the nerve to get up in front of people sometimes half naked and walk a runway or take photos. Even still, I’m no supermodel. That industry wanted more than I was willing to give and I gracefully bowed out. So I guess one out of three ain’t bad.
I am a writer and have been for what seems like forever. Writing is what I was meant to do though. Motivating people, is what I’m meant to do. Still, getting to that place of figuring out what I want and if it’s what’s meant for me took some trial and error. It took me auditioning for a choir and realizing my voice refused to meet me at the audition for me to finally accept that as much as I love singing, I wasn’t meant to do it on that level. Sometimes it takes having jobs that make us miserable to realize it’s time to do something else. Whatever the case, realizing we have the choice and the chance to be EXACTLY what we are meant to be is exciting and worth the journey. What do you think about Oprah’s quote?
When you were a kid were you told you could do and be anything you wanted? Were you encouraged to reach for the moon? As a kid,did you believe anything you imagined was possible? If the answer to any of these is yes, know you’re not alone. I was that kid too. I thought I would be following in the footsteps of my favorite singers and taking the world by storm with my powerhouse vocals. Only my vocals don’t pack much power. Still as a kid, you could not have convinced me that I didn’t have a shot a stardom.
There is something to be said about blind faith. We have it as a kid. Somewhere along the way we lose it. It kind of falls away, bit by bit. I think part of it is because the older we get, people stop telling us the world is ours and instead invite us to step into the “real” world. As an adult you are told and often forced to get your head out of the clouds. While this is a good thing, it’s also crazy confusing. How is it that the world is your oyster as a kid but as an adult you have to accept that that oyster had an expiration date and (sucks for you) you missed it?
I get growing up, but what does that mean for your dreams? Is it just kaput once you hit a certain age? I think of this all the time. Probably way too much. I am one of the few that still believe in the power of dreams, no matter how out there they seem.
My family and I recently took a trip to Disneyland. It was a dream come true for my nearly four year old son. He’s been wanting to go there for the last two years. While we were there, immediately, I felt the bubbling up of the Disney magic. It was such a feel good environment from the minute we entered the gates of the park. I inhaled and took it all in.
As we strolled through the park and squeezed through the crowds, I couldn’t help but feel perkier than I had when we walked in. It could have been all of the music I heard that took me back to a childhood of endless possibilities. It could have been that I was surrounded by fairy tales where all the stories have a happy ending. Whatever the case, it was enough to inspire me to not only keep dreaming but to dream bigger and believe that dreams can really come true. Maybe it’s childish. Maybe I need to snap out of it and pull myself out of the clouds. Or maybe that land of make believe was all I needed to make me believe in a bigger way. I have seen too many of my dreams come true to not think that “Impossible things are happening every day. ~Cinderella”
I never would have thought a trip to the happiest place on earth would be just the re-boot I needed. While my son is still talking about the magic of seeing Mufasa in the Disney parade, I have my own bit of magic tucked away. The question is how do I hold on to these good vibes?
Stay positive!
The feel good music in Disney was a mood changer. Keep yourself surrounded with positive people, positive quotes, affirmations and a little feel good music never hurts.
If you tell yourself something is impossible, then it is. You’ve already set it up to be that way just by speaking the words. Why not live in a place of why not? If you want to try something new, instead of telling yourself all of the reasons it’s not possible, simply say “Why not?”
Feeling stuck in a rut? It’s time to do something! Making change to make you feel better can be as simple as doing something small. For me, that sometimes means having enough time to sit down and paint my toenails or even go and get a pedicure!! Whoot whoot! My time is tight, so while these are little things, they can feel like a big deal. The small things can make big changes in our life and the people around us. Here are a few ideas on where to start. Try these top six ways to get you out of a rut!
An act of kindness never hurt anyone. Pay it forward by paying for the order of the person behind you at Starbucks. Everyone talks about karma when someone does something shady. But karma works both ways, people! You do something good, guess what’s headed your way? Warm and fuzzy goodness! Yup!
As we’ve move on into adult hood, sometimes it’s hard to make new friends. It can be hard to let new people in your circle. How about we drop that wall and let someone in and make a new friend! You could be just the buddy they need at that time and vice versa.
Make a new connection that in some way gets you closer to something you really want. This connection could be a person or something that’s been on your long list of things to do. Take action and move closer to whatever it is you want.
Bucket list wasn’t just a movie. Make your own bucket list and then make a plan to check something off that list. What are you waiting for?
When you’re in a rut and feeling down on yourself, one definite way to boost your mood is to make a list of your accomplishments. You’ve done far more than you remember. Once you start writing things down, you’ll see why you can give yourself a little pat on the back.
Really feeling like something needs to change? Are you ready to do something drastic? Try making a move and change something. Change your hair, change jobs, or an even bigger change – move! There’s nothing like a change of scenery to inspire and change your mood!
What do you do to pull yourself out of a rut? I wanna hear your suggestions in the comments!
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This past weekend was a really good one. It was simple and that’s where its beauty lies. My family and I had a little lunch date and spent time at a local park running, climbing and racing. It’s the kind of day I want to have all the time. It’s the simplest things that put me in my happy place. Once in my happy place, I’d like to stay there. I can’t be mama on a mission if I’m not doing certain things to keep mama going. So, I thought why not write down the things that will help me keep my happy.
Starting off the year, I decided to focus on doing bold things. I’m more of a reserved type of girl, so this is a big deal for me. In taking small, but bold steps, it’s easier to get closer and closer to whatever goals lay ahead. Doing small scary things make the big things far less scary
2 – Choosing Quality over Quantity
While this could apply to so many areas of life, it REALLY applies to friendships. Choosing to have a few REAL friends instead of a slew of fair-weather friends is the way to go.
3 – Doing a cleanse
I have been wanting to do a physical detox for a while. It’s on my list and I’m looking forward to it. Of course a detox doesn’t have to stop with the yucky stuff in your body it could also mean getting rid of the yucky things in your life. That could be any relationship that is bringing you down instead of lifting you up.
4 – Embracing the uniqueness
Accepting your uniqueness is one of the first steps to really loving you. There’s no point in being a carbon copy of someone else. The world would be a boring place if no one had the courage to just be themselves and be good with that. You are the only you this world gets. Don’t cheat the world or yourself out of your awesomeness! (tweet this)
5 – Trusting the gut
The older I get, the less I second guess myself. I think it has something to do with being a mom as well. I can’t be too wishy washy. I have two little people depending on me to make good decisions. That knowledge has made me more sure of myself.
These five things are sure fire ways to keep happiness in check. We all know, if mama’s happy, everybody’s happy!
Once a month I had an appointment with Tanya. She’s a guru when it comes to waxing. Every two weeks I had an appointment with another Tonya. She was my hair stylist. Every morning I got up just before 6a to get to the gym before work. After working out for an hour, I’d make my way back home to get ready for the work day. Those days were a long time ago! This is just a glimpse of my life before my name changed to mama.
I used to do so many things just for me, without a second thought. These days it’s hard to wedge in time to pluck my eyebrows let alone schedule a wax. I have been finding ways to steal some me time though. Every time I find a sliver of time to do something just for me, it’s a mini-celebration. It’s not that I don’t absolutely love my life as a mom. It’s just that I realized that it’s the little things, like a spontaneous pedicure or a shopping trip to Target all by my lonesome, are pretty special. It’s the small ways I take time out for me that make me a better mom and a better wife. It’s true what they say “happy wife, happy life”. I’d also like to add, “happy mama, way less drama“. {tweet this}
All these little things we do for ourselves can be described as self care. That can be anything from finding time to read a novel or a magazine. It could be as simple as enjoying an ice cream cone as you walk alone through your neighborhood. For me, I find that I need the space sometimes to just worry about taking care of nobody but me. I gladly give my family most of me, but I save a little for myself.
Share in the comments: Do you have any things that you do just for you? What’s self care look like for you?
Love it or hate it, becoming a celebrity pretty much guarantees your spot as a role model. Many complain about it, some embrace it and others just shrug it off. One thing is for sure; kids gravitate to celebrities and emulate them – good and bad. What is it about these people that make our kids AND us want to be just like them? Money, fame and celebrity all play a part. But at the end of the day, these are people who have followed their dreams. That’s it! It’s following your dreams that make people want what you have and want to be like you.
“If you’re the type of person who has to fulfill your dreams, you’ve gotta be resourceful to make sure you can do it. – Vin Diesel
Following your dreams and eventually living your dreams will make you successful. It doesn’t have to be success on the level of your biggest celebrity – but it could. Your success will come because it’s your dream, it’s what you love and you’ll work your butt off because you love it. Isn’t that how the real celebrities do it?! It kinda goes like this: dream àwork à work à dream fulfilled. Dream some more à work à work. The difference is your adoring fans are your mini-me’s. Awesome.
For me, pursuing my dreams is important because of the type of role model I want to be for my kids. There are a couple of benefits to going for your dreams, as a mom:
1 – It teaches kids to go after what they want. I dream up pretty lofty goals for myself with an attitude of why not? I’ve reached some of those goals, others I’m still working on.
2 -It teaches them that nothing is impossible. Of course, that’s not to say that it will be easy but with hard work, their dreams are SO possible.
3 – Watching dreams unfold gives a sense of accomplishment. It’s one thing to talk about something but to actually be about it and watch it happen… that’s bliss. Why wouldn’t a kid want to emulate that?!
4 – Goal setting is fun! I may be an odd bird but I think setting a crazy, outrageous goal is fun and challenging. It’s even more fun when you reach that goal. It’s empowering when you realize you can do things that people tell you are impossible.
So tell me, do you have a dream you think is impossible?
