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Everything Ain’t for Everybody

December 16, 2014 by cam

Whenever I’m in a car by myself, I sing. It never fails. I sing – HARD! You would think I’m in concert. For the longest time, I thought I could actually carry a tune. So much so that I considered recording myself and posting it on YouTube. I was singing a gospel song and wanted to share the inspiration I was feeling.

There I was, on the road to San Jose. I was headed to see Oprah and I was rolling solo. No husband, no kids – just me time. I was singing my heart out. So, I hit record. Then I played it back. Thank the LAWD I played it back and wasn’t so bold to immediately post it. Oh my goodness, everyone I know would have judged me. Yes, I had a cold and sounded all kinds of nasal – but still. I was shocked that I sounded so not good. Here’s a shot of me singing my face off.

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Loving the skin you’re in

November 25, 2014 by cam

Ever sit in front of the mirror and just look at you? Don’t freak out! It’s a great way to know when something changes. If you make a habit of just looking at you, you’ll begin to appreciate how amazing your body is and you’ll also notice if something changes because you’re checking it out on a regular basis. Another mama shared this with me and it made total sense. It’s a great step on the journey of loving the skin you’re in. I can think of a few more things that make me feel better about myself. Roll with me, ok?

Exercise is a good one for me. That extra step in the morning makes me feel better about me. Working out makes me feel different about my body almost immediately. Which is great because the changes certainly don’t happen immediately. Le sigh…

I noticed a while back that I was holding on to way too many clothes. As I started to go through them I realized some of them didn’t even deserve to be taking up space in my closet. They were too small, too big or just wasn’t something that made me feel how I want my clothes to make me feel. I like to get dressed without feeling like the frumpy mama. I don’t wanna get into the habit of being OK with my frump. So the best way to do that was to let some things go. Yep, that’s another “feel better about me” move. Go through your closet and get rid of clothes that don’t make you feel good about you. Anything that makes you feel frumpy, lumpy and “ugh” have got to go. Only rock with stuff that makes you feel good. That could be as simple as jeans and a white tee (my go to simple look). Feel free to do this process with other things in your life. That could include people too. I’m just saying…

Remember that you’re here for a reason. You are all kinds of unique, special and beautiful. Repeat that until you believe it if you have to.

Treat your body well and it will return the favor. Make a commitment to eat and drink things that serve you well. Been slacking on skin care? Get back on the wagon with that. Those changes will be written all over you. It will show in how you look and how you feel.

Focus on the things you really like about yourself. What you focus on grows. If you only focus on what you think are your faults… that’s all you’ll see. You’re way more than your flaws! Give your awesomeness some love.

Stop listening to other people, including magazines and TV shows, that say what the ideal body is. Tell your inner and outer critic to “Shut Up”! I don’t believe in an “perfect size”, do you?

How do you show yourself some love? Share in the comments!

Someone is in your way – I’m not saying any names.

October 28, 2014 by cam

Everybody has a talent
Everybody has something to give
All of us has something we’re good at
All of us have a gift that makes us
Special and unique

We hear it all the time. It’s repeated over and over again to remind us of what we’re capable of. Everyone has a special something – a talent. My kids love that song on Yo Gabba Gabba. OK, I really like it too.

But what if your talent is you being really good at continually and successfully getting in your own way? Yes, that can be a talent. If it’s something you’re good at, and makes you special and unique. It qualifies as a talent. Don’t look at me like that. I’m just telling you what Yo Gabba Gabba says.

It’s no secret that we’ve all been guilty of it at some point. Along the way there’s been something that we’ve really wanted to do. The problem could be a little voice in our heads saying all sorts of things that we choose to believe. When it comes to something we really want to do, we can tell ourselves a million reasons why it won’t work. Suddenly we’re convinced we’re not ready or you can’t do it or any other “reason”.

You wanted to start a blog but coming up with a that “perfect” first post was too much pressure and you’re still tweaking it – after a few months.

You spend all of your time planning for what you really want to do instead of doing it (guilty!)

You’re super talented but hold on tight to the thought that you’re not good enough. You are too hard on yourself. Ms. Perfect, anyone?

via

So how do you shake all of that?

First, allow me to give you permission to tell that little voice to kick rocks! Yup. Do that.

Next, watch what you do. What I mean is, watch yourself like you’d watch someone else. Why? It’s always easier to see where other people could do things differently. Turning that eye on ourselves helps us to see what we’re doing and where we could be switching things up. We’ll start to notice the habits that make us our best road block. Change those habits. Get closer to what we want.

Decide what success looks like to YOU! It’s not the same for everyone. For some people success means lots of money and power. For others it’s all having a family that’s thriving. Just because success looks different for you doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Work toward your own level of success and don’t let others re-define that for you.

Give up on perfection. Pssst… it doesn’t exist anyway. Don’t kick your projects or ideas to the curb simply because they didn’t come out “perfectly”.

Do you have a no-fail tip for getting out of your own way? Share in the comments.

5 Tips for Rocking SAHM (ommyhood)

September 9, 2014 by cam

After being a working mom for the last few years, life has changed a bit and I’m trying my hand at being a stay at home mom. I’d heard from my friends that being a stay at home mom wasn’t a job for the weak. My friends weren’t lying. I’m more tired as a stay at home mom than I ever was when I worked outside the home. I think it’s because I have way more physical labor now. Instead of sitting behind a desk, I am hauling my kids around, in and out of car seats and shopping carts as we head off on our daily adventures.

It’s a different grind. As a working mom, I had stresses and feelings of guilt. I still have issues as a stay-at-home-mom, they’ve just changed. I just felt the need to clarify that because I’m not on board with the whole mom wars thing. I don’t think more highly of one over the other. Motherhood is hard. Period.

I’ve learned a few things after almost a year at home with the kids. Here are my top five ways for surviving as a stay at home mom.

1 – Have a plan!

My day would not work if I didn’t have a plan of what I wanted to do with the kids each day. My kids can get a little stir crazy and need activity and routine. I have to keep that in mind when I’m planning our week or none of us are happy.

2 – Respect the nap

I can’t just keep going with what I’d like to do if it’s going to cut into their nap time. If their routine is off too much, so is their behavior. Let’s just say I learned this the hard way… a few times.

3 – Meal planning saves sanity

Along with planning our day, I try to plan our meals.. all of them. Many times, I pack our lunches so that we can have a picnic at times or just be ready with food if we’re still out at lunch time. Dinner is always planned too so that I’m not doing that last minute panic when it’s time to eat.

4 – Talk to adults

I have found that calling my friends at some point during the day is essential. It’s just nice to have adult conversations. Many times, it’s flat outt necessary.

5 – Have something for yourself

It’s critical for me to have something that’s just for me. It helps if it’s something I’m passionate about. I’m used to working outside the home full time and I had to create something for me to continue to have that part of myself. Part of that is my blog, the other is this space. When I get a few hours to myself, I work on my projects and when I’m done it’s like I’ve been re-fueled. That boost makes me a better wife and mama. Win win!

What about you? What are your secrets for making mommyhood work?

Selfish Mama: Am I Talking to You?

August 12, 2014 by cam

Not too long ago, I was having a conversation with a friend. She was telling me about something that she’d read. It was a post about motherhood. The author was talking about the need to be a selfish mother. At first, I balked. My thoughts went straight here:

You can’t be selfish once you have children.
Your life isn’t only about you.
The kids ALWAYS come first.
If you’re being a selfish mama, what are your kids missing out on while you’re all about you?

I”m the mom that felt bad every time I dropped my babies off at day care. I lingered around forever because I didn’t want to be away from my babies. Now that my babies are at home full time, I’m the mom who felt guilty when I run to the coffee shop to work for a few hours. Yeah, I’m that mama. Me a selfish mama. I couldn’t see it.

As she continued telling me about this post, I started to change my thoughts. It began to make sense to me. It really didn’t seem so bad to be selfish at all. The thing that popped into my head was the words I hear when boarding an airplane. They always tell you when traveling with children, in the event of an emergency to put the oxygen mask over your own face first. Growing up, I thought that was messed up. You’re telling people to protect themselves and kick the kids to the curb? Of course, not. That’s what it sounded like to me as a little kid though.

Making sure you have oxygen first, makes you better equipped to help your child. If you’re struggling to breathe, you can’t think clearly. If you’re not thinking clearly, you won’t make it. If you don’t make it, how can you help your kids? I think the same is true overall in motherhood. I have been guilty of being last on my own list. I have gotten better about it though. For example, I know that I need to get myself ready first in the morning. If I don’t, things tend to go a bit off track. It’s just easier for me to get my children together, if I’m already pulled together. In a sense, it sets the tone. My babies see that I’m dressed and they know what’s expected. They know what’s coming next. It’s their turn and they begin to do things to get ready.

Could that be true in other cases? Of course! If we set out to take care of ourselves first in other areas, will it teach our kids to make themselves a priority? There are definitely extremes to this. There are people who don’t spend time with their kids because of this idea of putting yourself first. There has to be a balance though, right? There are times to be selfish and there are time to make yourself “next in line”. It’s a dance. At times, I tend to hang out in the “next in line” phase a bit longer than I should. I am learning to put myself on my own list more often. Even when it feels selfish.

As moms, it’s no secret we juggle a lot. We feed, clean and clothe small people. We entertain, teach and engage them. We take them to countless activities and pretty soon your calendar only reflects your child’s social activities. Am I the only one here? It can get to the point that you can’t remember the last time you had a meal with your husband that didn’t involve cutting up someones else’s food. All of these things are part of being parents, absolutely. The thing is, being a parent isn’t the whole of who we are. Sometimes selfishly taking care of the rest of you is a must! (tweet this)

That could mean making time for a hair appointment, a pedicure or a shopping trip to Target – ALONE. Make time to have a meal (you didn’t prepare) and gaze at that hottie you married. You almost forgot about that part of him because you’re used to seeing him as a father now. Make time for sharing a meal and maybe a *gasp* glass of wine with your girlfriends. It feels good to laugh your face off about grown woman stuff every now and then. It may feel selfish but I promise it will make you a better mama.

What about you? What do you think of this idea of a being a selfish mama?

Three Ways to Beat the Blahs

July 29, 2014 by cam

I was going to ask you if you ever get a case of the blahs. Then I though about if. Who doesn’t get a case of the blahs every now and then? As a matter of fact, if you’ve figured out a way to avoid them, let me know! I have been feeling a little ho hum about a couple of things. I am having the hardest time squeezing working out back into my routine. I’ll get there.

The other thing that has me feeling meh is my hair. It’s long. Boring long. Long for no reason long. I’ve been thinking of what I could do to jazz it up a bit. This got me to thinking about the best ways to deal with a case of the blahs.

My first thought for my hair is to do something different. Immediately! When you are feeling “meh” or “ugh” about things, it’s time to make some changes. Change your hair, your route to work. Something. Find a way to switch up your routine. Try something new for dinner. Find a spice in your kitchen and then Google things to make using that spice. Just trying a new fruit or vegetable could be a cool switch up.

Another idea, get a pen and paper and start writing. What are you grateful for? Write them down! Having that list in front of you should help break any funk. Tuck the list in a drawer somewhere. When you’re feeling funk-ish, pull it out and remind yourself how much things really don’t suck.

Here’s something that always rejuvenates me. Go outside! Walk, move. You can walk in your neighborhood or even better go to a park or some place you’ve never visited before. You’ll be more aware of taking it all in because it won’t be familiar to you. When things get too familiar they are far too easy to overlook. When I go someplace new, I seem to notice every single detail. It’s the little things that can totally change your outlook on things.

What kinds of things do you do to break the blahs? Share in the comments.

She Did That! – Mini Messages

July 1, 2014 by cam

Not too long ago, I was watching an episode of Bethenny. My favorite part of the show was the “Bethenny in your Business” segment (sorry to see the show go). In the segment she interviews women who have started their own businesses. The women are typically at a crossroads with the business. It’s their passion but they don’t know how (financially) they can continue. Bethenny offers great advice and assistance that these women likely wouldn’t have gotten otherwise. There are always nuggets in there for me to jot down and apply to my business.

As I was watching the “Bethenny in your Business” segment, one mom, stood out to me. It was something about Stacey Tibbitt’s story that got my attention. It all started with her leaving notes in her kids lunches. That later turned into a business of napkins with cute drawings and illustrations.

After sharing her story with Bethenny, she was given an e-commerce site, branding advice and a new name for her company: Mini-Messages. I decided to reach out to her and ash her to share some of her story with my readers. I think that if we see other mamas doing something that they are passionate about, we’ll know that our finding and following our own passions is totally possible.

Camesha Gosha: Tell me about your passion.

Stacey Tibbitt: My passion would have to be my children and my business. Everything I do, I do for my three girls. It is why I started my business in the first place. My business is like a fourth child. I am responsible for its growth, it takes a lot of my time and I love it.

CG: How did you discover your passion?

ST: I discovered my passion when my first daughter was born. I knew right then and there that being a mom was the best thing in the whole world. When I started mini messages I knew it as something that I was born to do. I didn’t even have to think about it and no matter what obstacles I face I won’t give up on it.

CG: Why is it important to you?

ST: Being a mom is the greatest job I have ever had. Being a mompreneur is something that I never knew I wanted to be but enjoy every minute of it. Being successful at this business helps me to set a good example for my children, never give up on your dreams. You have to work hard if you really want something in life and never back down from a challenge.

CG: As a mom, were there challenges in pursuing your passion?

ST: Yes, there were several.

CG: Tell me about them.

ST: I faced several challenges. I didn’t know a thing about starting or running a business. I have had to learn every step of the way, and I am still learning. I didn’t have any money but what I did have was people that believed in me and wanted to help me financially. I knew nothing about marketing. I had to learn and again with the help of others I was able to get the word out.

CG: How did you overcome your challenges/obstacles?

ST: I overcame some of the obstacles by the help of others and of course, persistence. If I didn’t know something I asked or I found a way to learn about it. It takes a village to start/run a business and I would not be successful without the help of those around me.

CG: What do you think it does for your children to see you go after what you want?

ST: I think it sets a great example for my children. As I stated before they are taught many valuable lessons. First, never give up on your dreams. Second, you have to fight sometimes for what you want in life. And that if you do work hard you can be successful.

CG: What would be your advice to other moms who are on the fence about pursuing something they are passionate about?

ST: My advice would be to go for it. But they do have to know that it won’t be an easy ride. They have to be willing to work hard and not take no for an answer. If you love what you do then don’t let anyone stop you from doing it.

CG: : You wouldn’t be caught dead, where?

ST: That is a tough one??? I guess it would have to be some place where someone is excluded just because of who they are. If someone is not welcomed, then I won’t go there.

CG: Most hated chore on the household chore list?

ST: Cleaning the bathrooms!

CG: Name one thing you’re really good at.

ST: Being a mom.

CG: Name one thing you think you really suck at.

ST: Singing.

CG: If you could have a super power, what would it be?

ST: Be like I dream of Jeannie…if I wanted something done I would just have to fold my arms and blink and it would be done.

At last check, Stacey was auditioning for Shark Tank to take her business even further. You can find Mini Messages here, Twitter + Facebook!

So tell me, how did you discover your passion?

Tell me something GOOD

May 28, 2014 by cam

Every week, I try to drop a little dose of motivation. To tell the truth, I write to motivate others AND myself! All mamas need a little “you don’t suck” every now and then, right? The goal in this here space is to move us all to do a little more of what makes us happy. It’s a beautiful thing! This time, I’m taking a break from my usual posts to do something a little different.

I’d love to get to know YOU. I’ll start by sharing a few fun things. I’ve got a list of seven things about me. Why seven? Well, whenever anyone asks what my favorite number is, I say seven. It’s like my knee jerk answer. I think that’s because it’s supposed to be lucky! So by all means, let’s get to know each other a little better.

1 Pilates is definitely my workout of choice. I got addicted when I was pregnant with baby number one.

2 Speaking of babies, I have two – a boy and a girl.

3 I’m addicted to loose leaf tea. Most people HAVE to brew coffee every morning, for me it’s tea..

4 My husband and I went to the same midwestern university at the same time and didn’t meet until we both ended up in California. The university had about 2500 students. We even had some of the same friends while in school. Odd. And meant to be. 🙂

5 I make lists for everything. everything. So this list came naturally. Ha!

6 I am teetering toward being a vegetarian. I’m getting more and more over meat and thinking the plant based life might be good for me. We’ll see.

7 I’m 6’1″.

How’s that for getting to know you? Tell me something about you. Any odd quirks? Crazy dreams? Spill ’em!