Three Ways to Beat the Blahs

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I was going to ask you if you ever get a case of the blahs. Then I though about if. Who doesn’t get a case of the blahs every now and then? As a matter of fact, if you’ve figured out a way to avoid them, let me know! I have been feeling a little ho hum about a couple of things. I am having the hardest time squeezing working out back into my routine. I’ll get there.

The other thing that has me feeling meh is my hair. It’s long. Boring long. Long for no reason long. I’ve been thinking of what I could do to jazz it up a bit. This got me to thinking about the best ways to deal with a case of the blahs.

BLAHSMy first thought for my hair is to do something different. Immediately! When you are feeling “meh” or “ugh” about things, it’s time to make some changes. Change your hair, your route to work. Something. Find a way to switch up your routine. Try something new for dinner. Find a spice in your kitchen and then Google things to make using that spice. Just trying  a new fruit or vegetable could be a cool switch up.

Another idea, get a pen and paper and start writing. What are you grateful for? Write them down! Having that list in front of  you should help break any funk. Tuck the list in a drawer somewhere. When you’re feeling funk-ish, pull it out and remind yourself how much things really don’t suck.

Here’s something that always rejuvenates me. Go outside! Walk, move. You can walk in your neighborhood or even better go to a park or some place you’ve never visited before. You’ll be more aware of taking it all in because it won’t be familiar to you. When things get too familiar they are far too easy to overlook. When I go someplace new, I seem to notice every single detail. It’s the little things that can totally change your outlook on things.

What kinds of things do you do to break the blahs? Share in the comments. 

 

Having it All! Are you a believer?

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The president of a television network once told me “you can have it all, just not at the same time.” She’s a married, mother of two with this high-powered job. I could imagine the juggling act she was performing daily.  It got me to thinking: Balance. Is it a joke?

As I have made the transition from full time working mom in the crazy entertainment business to the crazy world of entrepreneurship, I have had to think about what having it all means to me. Does having it all mean having a booming career with the lifestyle to match and an equally thriving family life? Can all of that really exist at the same time? The vision of having it all totally depends on the eyes you’re looking through.

having it all

For me, the term “having it all” took on a different meaning once I had children. Before the arrival of my babies I knew exactly what I wanted. My ideal life had me working in entertainment in New York city, living in an apartment in Manhattan. I figured I’d wear super fashionable clothes and drive a Jeep Grand Cherokee. I seriously formed this vision while in college. Call me crazy! I ended up pretty close. My career dreams landed me in television in Los Angeles instead of New York. I did buy a Jeep. I got the Liberty instead of the Grand Cherokee. I worked for the Style Network so it was pretty much a no-brainer to stylishly show up to work!

Fast forward to my mommy life. All of the good stuff of my career became less appealing to me. I didn’t want to go to parties or events. I wanted to be at home with my babies. I was no longer interested in endless hours at work. I had other priorities. My having it all now meant spending as much time as I could with the people I created and the man I created them with.

balance

I decided to define having it all having and balance in my own terms. Balance for me is on a day to day basis. I spend my days with my children. That means that my time is not my own! I find time to do things for me and I maximize that time. Some days it’s a perfect dance we do. The kids get all they need and they take wonderful, full naps. During those naps, I get to crank out tons of work and cross some things off my massive list. By the time they wake up, I’m ready to play some more and enjoy them. There are other times that they act like sleep is an evil monster waiting to eat them up the minute they close their eyes. I don’t get a thing done until bed time and even then I’m exhausted. Balance. It’s a day to day thing. My focus is making sure everyone in our house gets what they need. Sometimes someone needs a little more or less. That’s balance for me. It’s not an overall life thing. I find that too overwhelming and then I end up kicking myself when something doesn’t workout. By taking it day by day, I give myself some grace and allow room for things to not be perfect. It works for me.

So tell me, what does balance look like for you? How do you define having it all?

Not Just Lip Service

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Recently, I had an experience that I wanted to share with you. I am creating a whole business centered around inspiring mamas to find and follow our passions. I talk a lot about following your dreams even especially after your name changes to mama. So, I just wanted to share a little something to let you know that I’m not just talking it, I’m putting my words to practice in my own life.
Talk It
One day, while my daughter napped, I got a phone call. It was from a modeling agency I had auditioned for years ago. They only represent body parts. I auditioned my hands. They’d called me a couple times about jobs but this was the first in a long time. It was also the first since I have been at home with the kids. It wasn’t easy to make it work. But it all worked out. My mom came out for a visit and stayed with the kids while mama went to work. They got time with grandma and I got a chance to do something cool. I was on a two day modeling job for Essie nails. The images will bee seen internationally.
I wasn’t allowed to take any pictures myself as the colors they used on my nails aren’t released yet. They are for the fall/winter season.
Modeling has been a part of me for a while. I started as a teen in modeling school and small jobs here and there. I stopped, ironically, shortly after moving to LA. Agencies wanted me to be smaller and smaller. I was a 4. They were crazy!
I had just let it all go until a few years ago. People have always complemented my hands so I found an agency that represented hand models and went for it.
It obviously paid off. That’s just one of my dreams/passions though. This business is another. It’s a heart business for me. I couldn’t be more passionate about it. I really want moms to find something they’re passionate about and find away to go for it.
I think it’s really important for us to have something that’s just for us. It certainly doesn’t have to e modeling or a business. It could be anything the brings you a little more happy.
What’s that thing for you? 

She Did That! – Mini Messages

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SDT GRFXNot too long ago, I was watching an episode of Bethenny. My favorite part of the show was the “Bethenny in your Business” segment (sorry to see the show go). In the segment she interviews women who have started their own businesses. The women are typically at a crossroads with the business. It’s their passion but they don’t know how (financially) they can continue. Bethenny offers great advice and assistance that these women likely wouldn’t have gotten otherwise. There are always nuggets in there for me to jot down and apply to my business.

As I was watching the “Bethenny in your Business” segment, one mom, stood out to me. It was something about Stacey Tibbitt’s story that got my attention. It all started with her leaving notes in her kids lunches. That later turned into a business of napkins with cute drawings and illustrations.

SDT MM CameshaGoshaAfter sharing her story with Bethenny, she was given an e-commerce site, branding advice and a new name for her company: Mini-Messages. I decided to reach out to her and ash her to share some of her story with my readers. I think that if we see other mamas doing something that they are passionate about, we’ll know that our finding and following our own passions is totally possible.

Camesha Gosha: Tell me about your passion.

Stacey Tibbitt: My passion would have to be my children and my business. Everything I do, I do for my three girls. It is why I started my business in the first place. My business is like a fourth child. I am responsible for its growth, it takes a lot of my time and I love it.

CG: How did you discover your passion?

ST: I discovered my passion when my first daughter was born. I knew right then and there that being a mom was the best thing in the whole world. When I started mini messages I knew it as something that I was born to do. I didn’t even have to think about it and no matter what obstacles I face I won’t give up on it.

CG: Why is it important to you?

ST: Being a mom is the greatest job I have ever had. Being a mompreneur is something that I never knew I wanted to be but enjoy every minute of it. Being successful at this business helps me to set a good example for my children, never give up on your dreams. You have to work hard if you really want something in life and never back down from a challenge.

CG: As a mom, were there challenges in pursuing your passion?

ST: Yes, there were several.

CG: Tell me about them.

ST:  I faced several challenges. I didn’t know a thing about starting or running a business. I have had to learn every step of the way, and I am still learning. I didn’t have any money but what I did have was people that believed in me and wanted to help me financially. I knew nothing about marketing. I had to learn and again with the help of others I was able to get the word out.

CG: How did you overcome your challenges/obstacles?

ST: I overcame some of the obstacles by the help of others and of course, persistence. If I didn’t know something I asked or I found a way to learn about it. It takes a village to start/run a business and I would not be successful without the help of those around me.

CG: What do you think it does for your children to see you go after what you want?

ST: I think it sets a great example for my children. As I stated before they are taught many valuable lessons. First, never give up on your dreams. Second, you have to fight sometimes for what you want in life. And that if you do work hard you can be successful.

CG: What would be your advice to other moms who are on the fence about pursuing something they are passionate about?

ST: My advice would be to go for it. But they do have to know that it won’t be an easy ride. They have to be willing to work hard and not take no for an answer. If you love what you do then don’t let anyone stop you from doing it.

RF SDT CameshaGosha

CG: : You wouldn’t be caught dead, where?

ST: That is a tough one??? I guess it would have to be some place where someone is excluded just because of who they are. If someone is not welcomed, then I won’t go there.

CG: Most hated chore on the household chore list?

ST: Cleaning the bathrooms!

CG: Name one thing you’re really good at.

ST: Being a mom.

CG: Name one thing you think you really suck at.

ST: Singing.

CG: If you could have a super power, what would it be?

ST: Be like I dream of Jeannie…if I wanted something done I would just have to fold my arms and blink and it would be done.

At last check, Stacey was auditioning for Shark Tank to take her business even further. You can find Mini Messages here, Twitter + Facebook!

So tell me, how did you discover your passion? 

Overwhelm? Totally Conquered!

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Overwhelmed. I was totally feeling the pressure recently at my son’s end of year school picnic.

I started thinking about all that had to be done. I thought of all the things that could throw the plan off. I was totally talking myself into a “worst case scenario” situation.

I knew I needed to make sure my daughter had her nap. She can be iffy on those. If she missed the nap, I’d be at this picnic with a hyper four year old and a cranky baby. I also knew that I needed to order the pizzas for the picnic while she slept. Once we picked up my son, we needed to pick up the food and haul it back to the park with blankets, chairs, toys and stroller in tow.

Two kids. One mama. Three hour picnic. I totally allowed it to drown me in overwhelm.

overwhelm
All the stuff on my list didn’t seem nearly as bad when I put it in perspective and took one thing at a time. So, here’s what actually happened:

I woke up knowing I had a full day ahead of me. The day started with me getting the kids ready, packing lunches and getting my son to school. Next, was my daughters art class. While she napped after class, I ordered pizzas for our contribution to the picnic. We got my son from school and headed to pick up the pizza. Then, my excited kiddies and I were off to the park. And you know what happened next? We had fun! We played games, we hung out with my son’s friends, ate lots of food, swung at pinatas and everything else the picnic had to offer.

At the end of the day, I  had worked myself up for no reason it all.

Have you ever done that? Have you had something  to do that was so simple but you make it bigger than it ever needs to be? Sometimes we build up so much anxiety over the smallest of things.

The best way to combat that for me I’ve found is to break things down. Just give yourself some order and do one thing at a time. When taking the whole of anything in one chunk it could be too much. It’s like trying to pick up a whole pound cake and chow down. No! We take it one slice at a time. Breaking things down into small manageable tasks works every time. Even when it’s something as simple as a school picnic.

So tell me, how do you deal with overwhelm?

Yes, You Can Have…

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At some point along this ride we have to start saying yes to the things we want. It’s even bigger than that though. There’s this thing we have to get past. It’s called permission.

permissionI have found that there were some things I wasn’t getting out of life because I wouldn’t give myself permission to have what I say it is I want. Yes, I would talk my friends ears off about the life I wanted for myself. I had big dreams and that’s all they were. There wasn’t a plan to get any of it. As they say, “a goal without a plan is just a dream.” {tweet this} I finally figured out that I didn’t think I was allowed to have the life, the home, the career I wanted. I guess, on some level, I thought that type of “on your own terms” living was reserved for a select few.

Then, I decided to tell myself a different story. As I sat down to make one of my MANY lists, I gave myself permission to have everything on those lists. It sounds so simple but telling myself yes was really one of the first steps to living a life that brings me a little more happy. And who couldn’t use a little more happy, right?

I said yes to being an author, which led me down the road of entrepreneur. That was something I hadn’t so much considered but have eagerly said yes to. The most rewarding yes had to be the decision to spend more time at home with my kids. Here’s what I’m learning, there are some things that keep nagging at us. There are things to change, things we want, etc. Once we give in and say yes, the details kinda fill themselves in. Here are a few more things on my “PERMISSION GRANTED!” list:

  • A healthier lifestyle – I’m slowly moving our family to a more plant based diet. Got any great recipes? Feel free to share!
  • Extra energy – I think this is going to come with a commitment to consistently work out and get more sleep.
  • Less stress – I tend to take on a million things. I’ll be scaling down my list.
  • Conquering overwhelm – See above! LOL!
  • Keeping a positive out look – I think all of these things will help keep my outlook in check. 🙂

So, now your turn. PERMISSION GRANTED! What’s one thing big or small that you could say yes to?

P.S. The June newsletter comes out this week! Are you on the list? Sign up below. 🙂

 

It’s All in How You See it…

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**I have to thank you ALL for last week’s post! I shared and you gave it right back. It is a pleasure getting to know you! That has to be my favorite post so far! On to today’s post! 🙂 **

Since the passing of Dr. Maya Angelou, her quotes have been posted everywhere. From Twitter to Facebook, my newsfeed and timeline has been filled with everyone’s favorite quotable from her. Like everyone else, I definitely have my favorites. There are actually too many to list here. I came across this one a couple of days ago. I’m not sure I’d heard anyone mention it before.

be prepared

It sounds great! I think I immediately re-tweeted, liked it and copied it to encourage myself later. It was just the thing I needed to keep me motivated that everything I wanted was mine. I only needed to ask. Whoot whoot!

I took another look at the quote though. When looking at it again, I saw it differently. I saw the work behind this quote that I didn’t see the first time *tire screech*.  The thing is, I took this and ran with at first. It’s easy to just see the surface of it. We ask for what we want and just wait. Boom! That thing I asked for appears. Nice! But I couldn’t stop there. Oh no! I couldn’t let it be pretty and magical. I had to take it a step further. Ugh!

When I looked at it again, the quote had a different meaning.  My guess is the the intent of this quote is to remind us to do the work.

This spoke to me so much as a mama! I have a million things I want to do and pursue. It seems like having babies only made that number multiply. This quote is a reminder to me. The life I want, the passion in my belly and the dream I can’t shake – they take work!  <– {tweet this} Once I’ve done the work though, it’s as simple as making the request and it’s mine. It’s that whole idea of luck. It’s really preparation and opportunity meeting, right? Not exactly hocus pocus, but still so worth it!

Had you heard this quote before? What passion are you working on?

Tell me something GOOD

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Every week, I try to drop a little dose of motivation. To tell the truth, I write to motivate others AND myself! All mamas need a little “you don’t suck” every now and then, right? The goal in this here space is to move us all to do a little more of what makes us happy. It’s a beautiful thing! This time, I’m taking a break from my usual posts  to do something a little different.

I’d love to get to know YOU. I’ll start by sharing a few fun things.  I’ve got a list of seven things about me. Why seven? Well, whenever anyone asks what my favorite number is, I say seven. It’s like my knee jerk answer. I think that’s because it’s supposed to be lucky! So by all means, let’s get to know each other a little better.

something good

1 Pilates is definitely my workout of choice. I got addicted when I was pregnant with baby number one.

2 Speaking of babies, I have two – a boy and a girl.

3 I’m addicted to loose leaf tea. Most people HAVE to brew coffee every morning, for me it’s tea..

4  My husband and I went to the same midwestern university at the same time and didn’t meet until we both ended up in California. The university had about 2500 students. We even had some of the same friends while in school. Odd. And meant to be. 🙂

5 I make lists for everything. everything. So this list came naturally. Ha!

6  I am teetering toward being a vegetarian. I’m getting more and more over meat and thinking the plant based life might be good for me. We’ll see.

7  I’m 6’1″.

How’s that for getting to know you? Tell me something about you. Any odd quirks? Crazy dreams? Spill ’em!

It took extreme pain but, lesson learned

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A week ago, I had two wisdom teeth removed. I had it done on a Friday and figured I’d rest over the weekend and be better by the time my husband went back to work on Monday. Well, it didn’t go as planned. The dentist had to crack my bone to get one of my teeth out and that made my healing torture! I’m still healing.

This experience has taught me that I need to know when to give myself a break. With my jaw throbbing, my teeth feeling like they were shaking in my head, I was still trying to work. At night, I would sit at this laptop frustrated with myself that I couldn’t focus. I wanted so badly to stay on top of the schedule I’d set for myself. Really, I was crazy! It took a friend to remind me to take it easy on myself. I needed to rest. Working was only making me feel worse. I couldn’t be so focused on creating my future and ignoring my present pain.

iPhone May dump 147Sometimes we have to know when to say when. I wasn’t doing that. My body forced me to check myself. I think it’s common among women, especially moms. We push forward hard while downplaying what may be going on with us. I was busy making my kids a priority. I was doing drop-off,  pick-up, packing lunches, play dates and mommy and me classes while being in extreme pain. My kids got what they always get from me. I did have a day or two in there where they watched more TV than they should have. I was wiped out and couldn’t do more in that moment. I think that’s the day it started sinking in for me that my balance was thrown off. I forgot about putting the oxygen mask on myself first. I made sure the kids were good but I was struggling. I had nothing left to give when it was time for me to work.

I decided to stop trying. I had to give myself some grace and just shut this computer off. Instead of trying to write posts and finish books and structure marketing plans – I took my sick behind to bed! It’s so simple but it took extreme pain for me to see it. Taking the pressure off of myself to be superwoman was freeing. I so believe in taking a step closer to your dream everyday. I keep that firmly in the front of my mind. So much so, that I have a hard time taking a day off of dream building.

Here’s the deal, my dreams don’t work without me. I’ve learned to do as much dream building as self loving. One without the other doesn’t work.

I’ll be getting back to me soon enough. I’ll just keep this in my back pocket as a lesson learned.

How do you balance taking care of yourself with taking care of everyone else?

I Almost Said No

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I almost said no. It was Mother’s Day weekend. It started off easy enough. There were brunch reservations. Mimosas were had. Then my husband asked me what else I wanted to do. I was sleepy. I wanted to stay home and take a much needed nap. Instead, I opted to let him surprise me.

yesHe loaded the kids in the car and promised me I could sleep on the way to wherever we were going. I guess that should have been my first hint. We took a drive. I like to think of it as a mystery drive. We live in the Los Angeles area and we drove up the coast.  We cruised around Malibu with the ocean as far as you can see. As we drove further we were surrounded by mountains. There were animals grazing on the side of the mountain, there were rabbits happily hopping along. We eventually drove through Oxnard and saw lots of farm land with markets along the sides of the road. Our kids were getting a kick out of it all. They were really fascinated with the animals. My son wanted to know more about how a farm works. We took some time to take the scenic route and eventually got to the highway entrance. The signs were pointed south back to Los Angeles and north to Ojai. I assumed my husband would head back home. Instead he took the Ojai exit! Our adventure was going to continue!

ojai welcomeWe checked out the city a bit. After a while we found a family friendly restaurant for dinner. It was great to go take this impromptu trip with the kids. I always love experiencing things through them. One thing is for sure, my son is not a fan of road trips. He hasn’t been on a road trip in about two years. He kept asking my husband when he was going to  park the car!

I’m happy I didn’t take that nap. Being open to whatever and having a why not attitude ended up being a wonderful surprise. I’m learning to do that more and more. It’s proving to be a great way to let new experiences happen.

What have you just said yes to lately?